by
Eman Tariq
Mama, I want to get married. This was proclaimed by my five year old when he and I were lazing around on a random summer afternoon. As I got over the shock of having this conversation twenty years ahead of its actual time, a part of me, the less shocked, self-praising part, was happy. My kid wanted to get married. It may be the childhood innocence talking but at least the direction was right.
It was at that very moment that I realized that I have a son, a beautiful gorgeous boy (since all moms are biased) and my life’s goal was making him a better man so that he could be good for some other woman.
The truth hit me like a tumbling ton of bricks where pretty pink stars were rotating around my head. The whole realization of this humongous task dawned upon me. It was literally in my hands (since my baby was trying to jump on me and I was holding him) to make or break my future generations.
You see every religion especially Islam has emphasized on raising kids. It is the whole purpose of a mother’s existence. However our child behaves, it’s reflected on the parents regardless of whatever age he or she is.
As a mother, it is my duty to raise my son to be a better man, a better son, a better husband and a better father. You see the pivotal point of every family is the man. The man is the decision maker, the breadwinner, the staunch shoulders on which the whole family is standing on. Who is responsible for making the man, a man? The answer is staring at me in the face, literally; his mother.
When we become mothers, our instinct is to spoil our kids. Shower them with love, care and attention; constantly reassuring ourselves that he’ll learn when he grows up. Ignoring his little tantrums. What we don’t realize is when the little tantrums become a personality trait.
Wake up Mothers!
It is not ok for your son to laze around when he has a test, it is not ok for your son to have no goals, it is not ok for your son to not go to college and it is not ok for your son to avoid hard work just because his father has a successful business. Who is supposed to teach him the importance of hard work? The importance of earning, of supporting your family, of having a career?
You are.
Who is supposed to teach him how to treat a lady? You are. Who is supposed to explain the dynamics of marriage before he signs the papers? You are. Who is supposed to teach him about taking responsibility, of focusing on happiness or enjoying the little things in life?
You are.
Who has to show him to compromise?
You are.
Who has to show him how to raise kids?
You.
So wake up ladies. At every point in time, talk to your children, explain things to them, and treat them like adults. Tell them about the realities of life, how to live, how to dream and how to love. Maybe someday, when a wise, intellectual and confident individual, who has your eyes, squeezes your hand when you have difficulty walking; you know you just might have done it right.
Time to stop the five year old from eating mud.
The blog was originally posted in the Read Pakistan Mag.